Been waiting for a girl like this all my life!
I feel like eating pussy tonight…
anyone who feels the same can reblog this :)
You are most definitely going on my TO-DO list, you lil’ sugar-coated angel!
She is one beer short of the perfect woman!
Self-cunnilingus redhead, I love you!!!
That is what a facial in porn movies should be like…
First attempt - In God I don’t trust
So I decided to go to a bar last night. Just a few friends, chilling and drinking.
Until…
I noticed this extremely beautiful girl and I was like “I’d tap that ass”. A few drinks later, I’m already heading to her. I sit right next to her and I use the old classic offer-her-a-drink maneuver.
- No thanks, I don’t drink! - she replied and I was like “Fuck my life!”. I slowly turned around and headed back to my table when she said:
- Are you into charity or something?
- What?
- You offer people drinks and then go away - the girl replied.
- You do realise the drink was only a pretext, to start a conversation, don’t you?
A few drinks later (all of which I drank on my own) I realised that I’ve been talking to this girl (named Alice) for a solid two hours having the time of my life (presumably because I was pretty drunk). All of a sudden she asks to escort her to her home. “Home run!” I thought (it sounded funnier then). So we’re walking, holding hands and talking. We start making out in the first darker alley we see. I start touching her, but as soon as I try to put my hand under her skirt:
- I can’t! - she said.
- Oh my God, you have a penis?!?!
- Uhh… NO. I’m a christian. You can’t touch me there.
- For real?
- Yes. - she replied.
- Pull down your panties! I want to be sure that there is no dick there - I said. She pulled them down, everything was OK, Alice was a woman. - So that’s why you don’t drink?
- Yes.
- Well what now? - I asked.
- You can touch my tits, you can touch my ass, you can kiss me, but that’s all.
- What about a BJ or a handjob?
- If you want you can masturbate while we are making out, but I can’t touch it - she replied.
So we’re standing there, making out, I’m kissing her, kissing her neck and tits, sucking on them nipples. My right hand alternating between her tits and her ass, while I’m jerking with my left hand.
A few minutes later I ejaculated and part of my semen dropped on Alice’s right shoe. Shе took her shoe of and licked the semen right of it.
- What the hell? You can’t touch my cock, but you can eat my sperm?! - I screamed.
- Hey, no one sais anything about that in the Bible. Didn’t you know?
- So I can ejaculate on your face and that will be cool with God? - I asked.
- Pretty much, yes.
Two minutes late my sperm was all over Alice’s face. Another ten minutes later it was all over her face again.
The moral: Religious people are strange.
